Not always, but very often I am concerned about the substance of things. That means about that part of things that is meaningful and has the bigger weight and makes the difference. – How to convince someone.
If you buy a car for example the substance is contained on the quality and power of the motor, the safety, the quality of the wheels, the fact that you are dealing with a new car or a used one, rather than the color of it or the material of the interiors.
In my profession, in sales, the substance of things, is the ability ME (or our sales outsourcing agency) convincing YOU buying the product or solution I have. The magic word is how to convince someone.
CONVINCING is the real substance of a sales pitch. It is the reason why you are going to decide to buy something or not.
If I talk over you, shout at you, “intimidate” you, don’t listen to you, just to get a “yes, you are right” from your side, so that you get rid of me, then I failed.
Because when the time comes to put your hand in your pocket to take out your credit card, you are not going to do so. You are going to find any possible excuse, postpone the purchase, find false objections, but you are not going to fulfil the transaction.
That is the point where the true colours of my pitch show.
Some days ago, I had an argument online which made me realize certain facts.
The argument was about the Greek athlete and sprinter Kenteris. Kenteris (a national hero in Greece) was found to be doped on the summer Olympic games of 2004 in Athens.
The spark of the argument was my comment on a Facebook post of a Greek runner’s group, that praised him for his achievements.
The comment was: “How can you promote a crook like that?”.
Anticipated, my comment received hundreds of sub comments, answers, and replies, 99% of people reacting negatively, from mild rejection comments up to extremely angry hating comments.
A “BLASPHEMY” from my side, … having my opinion and saying it publicly, and receiving what I “deserve” from grown up individuals, hiding behind their keyboard.
The first comprehension was that the post came up for the next days as the first post on my facebook page, a fact that made me understand, that the computer evaluated algorithm, reacts positively and promotes posts with a big number of reactions on them, “pressuring” bloggers on a specific direction, not always the healthiest one.
How to convince someone gone wrong!
The second one was that a specific “hater”, a Greek based in the US, with a higher level of education, as long as I could tell from his public profile, a person with whom I exchanged a variety of comments and replies, gave me thumbs up and hearts when I “submitted” to his points of view, just to get rid of him and end this pointless conversation.
Was I convinced from his arguments?
Of course not.
Did he believed that I was convinced deep inside?
I don’t think so.
But that is not important, important is that I did not oppose him anymore.
Is it about the substance?
Is it about convincing someone about his opinions or convictions?
The answer is YES, IT IS ABOUT THE SUBSTANCE.
but the substance is not the one you think it is, BUT ANOTHER ONE?
To understand the real reason and the “substance” of an argument and a discussion, we need to understand the following:
Your self consists of your thinking mind (that is your thoughts, your feelings, your memories and expectations, your beliefs)
And from your observing mind, your consciousness.
IF YOU IDENTIFY YOUR SELF WITH YOUR THINKING MIND, IF YOUR EGO IS SO OVERINFLATED THAT ANY CHALLENGE OF YOUR BELIEFS IT’S A CHALLENGE TO YOUR OWN EXISTENCE, AN ACCEPTANCE OF FALSE BELIEFS IS GOING TO CONCLUDE TO THE COLLAPSE OF YOUR WHOLE BELIEF SYSTEM, THE COLLAPSE OF EVERY MEANING IN YOUR LIFE AND THE DOMINANCE OF CHAOS.
The substance on arguments, on positionings, on views, is to maintain the ego,
as it is the pillar of existence for those ones that did not discover yet that their thinking mind is not who they are.
The identification with the ego, is the big obstacle for new ideas, improvements, and changes in our lives.
To remove the obstacles, we need to distance ourselves from our beliefs, thoughts, assumptions or oobsessions and see them as what they really are, and not as an extension of our selves.
The observation of our thoughts and the thoughts and arguments of 3rd party players is going to help us take the right decisions, improve ourselves and our businesses, and help us avoid doing the same mistakes again and again.
The openness to new ideas, requires the acknowledgement of the observing mind.
The second very important reason, is that by not answering, not challenging opposing ideas, you give them space to establish them selves as a reality. As a common secret that no one challenges because they don’t want to have the arguments with the one, (or the group) that settles down their “undisputed” opinions.
So, prior of saying: “I will agree, leave me in peace”, be aware what are the stakes of your action!
